The current reality of the workplace leaves little doubt that it is bad for the physical and mental health of many workers. At a From Day One conference in Seattle, Steve Arntz, chief executive officer of Campfire, noted that this opinion is not his alone; rather, it’s shared by the Surgeon General of the United States, Vivek Murthy. Dr. Murthy has “‘slapped a warning label’ on work. It is destroying our mental health right now. It’s killing us.” 

This is not as it should be. Murthy believes that work needs to be an engine for mental health and wellbeing. Instead, work is hurting people physically and mentally, and the results are hitting companies hard in terms of retention and employee engagement. According to a 2022 McKinsey report, 32% of people leaving their jobs say it is because of uncaring leaders. 

How does a company change from seeming not to care to demonstrating that they do? Arntz believes it is by asking questions and creating an environment where honest answers are not just welcomed but really listened to. Three questions can help lead to metamorphosis: What are you feeling? What are you thinking about that might be distracting you from being present? Who are you right now? 

Would you know how your team members would answer? “You probably don’t know for sure,” Arntz said.  

What Are You Feeling? 

Researchers have discovered more than 23,000 emotions. You can find a list of 53 that are grouped into five major categories on Healthline. “It can be hard to name the precise emotion you're feeling,” Artntz acknowledged. “But there is a vocabulary.” 

No one feels anything 100% of the time, he says. “You probably feel enjoyment maybe five or 10% of the time. There are moments when you feel joy and think, ‘This is what work is all about, this is my purpose.’ But it isn’t all the time.”

What Are You Thinking Now? 

The second question hones in on distractions that can take away from work. “We think the big distractions are office politics and Netflix and sporting events and social media. We think everybody's stuck in their LinkedIn feed, that they can't get enough of this thought leadership on LinkedIn. But that's not the case. Friends being laid off, divorce, mental health challenges, finding a therapist, global conflict, inflation: This is the hard stuff people are thinking about now, not social media or what to stream on Netflix.”

Who Are You Right Now? 

If you lead sales people, you might think they’re all outgoing, sociable, sports-loving closers who are motivated by money. But that’s not the case. In three years of research with 200 groups of salespeople, Arntz found that money and rewards were core motivations for only 20%. “It shocked me. At our own company, money and rewards weren’t in the top group of motivators either. [Respondents] were motivated by problem-solving, collaboration, and people. They want work that's purposeful and meaningful, and to do it with people they enjoy collaborating with.” We can often fall into traps of identity rather than figuring out who the people we work with really are.

Asking these questions is already working at companies. Microsoft does this weekly, Arntz said. They ask: What are you thinking? What are you feeling? And what are your intentions for this time and space? These questions are used in small to medium sized group meetings. Initially, there was concern that meeting time would increase. But this approach actually reduced both the number and length of meetings by 30%. 

“You start to become connected to each other in a way that helps you to move about the cabin a little more safely and confidently,” he said. “You can move forward productively, come up with great solutions, and collaborate.” These check-ins can sometimes illuminate intense challenges that some people are having, including childcare and finding a therapist, both issues that were exacerbated by the pandemic. Discussing one topic by itself can bring relief to someone who is worrying. But in a group setting, participants may gain insights or information from their peers that can help address specific issues. 

The name of the company, Campfire, evokes camping trips, where sitting around a dying campfire and eating s’mores can facilitate deep conversations and true connections, sometimes even without eye contact. “You're staring straight in the fire telling each other stories. You are centered. That is what we call campfire culture, and we need to create it in our workspaces. We need to re-create psychological safety.”

In her research into psychological safety, Harvard researcher Amy Edmondson says there are three keys to creating a safe space conducive to such a culture: 

1. Framing work as a learning problem, which means everyone is there to learn, and work is a learning experience. 
2. Being able to readily acknowledge your own fallibility, and sometimes even celebrating it. 
3. Modeling curiosity as a leader by asking questions.

If you want to grow a great company, invest in your middle layer of management, Arntz recommends. “They are the linchpin, and the linchpin to their effectiveness is conversations.” Conversations about what you expect of a team or team member, conversations about what they expect of you: these are the details that are often missed. “A manager will come to you wanting to fire someone, and when asked why, they say it’s because they don’t meet expectations. But did you ever tell them what you expected of them?”

Ask them: What got you here? Where do you want to go? How can I help you get there? “These conversations are a lot less about talking and a lot more about asking questions.” Arntz said. He likes approaching them with a “GROW” model: What are your Goals? What is the Reality of the situation you are in now? What Options have you considered? What is the Way forward? 

To that he would add the regular check-in: What are you feeling? What are you thinking about, and what might be distracting you? Who are you? What are your intentions for this space? “The future of work will be built on connected leadership,” he concluded. “It sounds like a buzzword, but I think what will differentiate us is what makes us human. Creating and innovating will need this kind of leader.”

Arntz says that everyone should ask themselves if their work is meeting the rallying cry of Dr. Murthy and creating an engine of mental and physical wellbeing. The key is connected and caring leaders: “Give a voice to everyone and prioritize connection. Ask someone: How are you? Honest answers only.”

Editor's note: From Day One thanks our partner, Campfire, for sponsoring this thought leadership spotlight.

Lisa Jaffe is a freelance writer who lives in Seattle with her son and a very needy rescue dog named Ellie Bee. She enjoys reading, long walks on the beach, and trying to get better at ceramics.