Hope for Cynics: How to Replace a Lack of Trust With “Hopeful Skepticism”

“I wrote this book because I needed it,” said renowned psychologist and author, Jamil Zaki, Ph.D. about his latest book, Hope for Cynics: The Surprising Science of Human Goodness. “I’ve been studying the science of kindness and empathy and connection for 20 years, and oftentimes people assume that must mean that I walk around blissed out by human goodness constantly. But the secret is that this entire time, I’ve tended towards cynicism,” Zaki said during a fireside chat at From Day One’s December virtual conference.

In life and in work, cynicism is making us sick, but Zaki offers a cure. While cynicism is an understandable response to injustice and inequality, in many cases it is misplaced. Dozens of studies find that people fail to realize how kind, generous, and open-minded others really are. Dr. Zaki imparts the secret for beating back cynicism: “hopeful skepticism”–thinking critically about people and our problems while honoring and encouraging our strengths.

“We are living through a quiet but devastating epidemic of cynicism,” Zaki told session moderator, Megan Ulu-Lani Boyanton, reporter at the Denver Post. In 1972, about half of Americans believed most people could be trusted. By 2018, only a third believed the same. He cites the financial collapse of 2008 as a time when our faith in institutions plummeted. “We are living in a trust deficit. When trust is depressed, cynicism rises. Cynicism is poisonous for our mental health, our physical health, relationships, our communities, including our businesses and organizations and our culture.”

But not all hope is lost, cynicism is often just a mistake or a bias. “When you pay closer attention to the data, people tend to be more generous, trustworthy, open minded and kind than we realize,” Zaki said. That’s where his “hopeful skepticism” comes in—“acknowledging that oftentimes our bias means we underestimate each other and by connecting more with the data and with people in general, we can rebuild our sense of faith in each other and use that to fight for a future that more of us want.”

Hopeful Skepticism in Action

The difference between cynicism and skepticism is key. “Skeptics withhold their judgment and look for evidence,” Zaki said. And while optimism, in assuming a positive outcome, can lead to complacency, hope instead can inspire action. “Hope is the belief that things could improve, but that we don’t know that… the future is uncertain, and in that uncertainty, our actions matter.” Therefore, hopeful skeptics are data-driven and withhold assumptions, while knowing that people and situations can surprise us in a positive way.

At work, cynicism can be lethal, says Ulu-Lani Boyanton. “[There is] a heavy price for mistrust in a corporate environment.” The data shows that cynics are less likely to rise to positions of leadership, have poor morale, perform worse, and are less loyal to organizations. Cynicism spreads easily and having too many cynics at an organization can lead to a collapse of collaboration, innovation, and productivity. “Why take a risk if the person next to you would prefer to see you fail?” Zaki said. “Leaders need to be quite intentional about fostering trust and cooperation, because without that, our tendency is to focus more on the negative.”

Political and social polarization can also breed cynicism. “Americans have lost contact with folks who are different from them. We no longer rub shoulders with people who are politically different from us. We’ve sorted so that we interact less with real folks we disagree with. So how do we know who they are?” Zaki said. We rely on media depictions for that information, and often it’s inaccurate. “We conjure up a version of people we disagree with that is quite frightening and quite wrong. And we miss out on the common ground.”

This extends to workplace disagreements and divisions. “People stop talking with one another. They start to exaggerate the negative qualities of the other side. They start to think a ‘win’ on the other side is a ‘loss’ on their own. We focus so heavily on what separates us that we lose sight of all the things we have in common,” Zaki said. To solve this within the workplace, Zaki says, bring both sides together and have them list all the things they agree on and disagree on. They will be shocked at how the agreements outweigh the disagreements.

Seeing Each Other More Clearly

It’s incumbent on HR to help team members move past their own biases and internal disagreements. When Zaki surveys employees, he always finds that the vast majority want collaboration and trust to be at the center of their work, and that they also don’t realize that other folks want it too. “If you’re a leader, one way to fight cynicism is not to lie to people, but to tell them the truth and to show them the truth in as quantitative and specific a way as you can,” Zaki said.

One way organizations can inspire collaboration, creativity, and trust, Zaki said, is by “rewarding people for not just their individual performance, but how they showed up for their colleagues.” Mission-driven companies like Patagonia or Cotopaxi, that are not only focused on product development but also “advancing a philosophy of caring, not just for ourselves, but for the planet” all speak to Zaki’s tenets of hopeful skepticism.

He encourages organizations to invest in developing “soft skills,” or what he calls “human skills,” so that employees can get better at understanding themselves and others and communicate more effectively. Empathy and emotional intelligence are vital to success.

Humans suffer from a negativity bias as part of an evolutionary response to physical threats. Noticing that knee jerk response within oneself is key to moving past it. “Being a hopeful skeptic can open us to incredible numbers of social opportunities, whether that’s pleasant conversations with strangers, bridging differences with people we disagree with, building relationships, friendships, collaborations, parenting more effectively, and building more trusting communities. And in all these cases, the steps are simple,” Zaki said. “I’m much more positive and hopeful since researching cynicism, because I realized how much of it is just an error, and that’s true in our politics, in our organizations, but just in our everyday lives as well. Hope is not naïve, it’s not privileged, it’s not toxic. It’s an adaptive and adaptable response to the best data that we have. We can fight for that better future together by seeing it more clearly.”

Katie Chambers is a freelance writer and award-winning communications executive with a lifelong commitment to supporting artists and advocating for inclusion. Her work has been seen in HuffPost and several printed essay collections, among others, and she has appeared on Cheddar News, iWomanTV, On New Jersey, and CBS New York.

(Photo by Liudmila Chernetska/iStock)