The sense of disconnection that Dave Wilkin felt while growing up was painful, but it became a powerful motivator that would change his life. “I learned the hard way that if you don’t have mentors, if you don’t have networks, and if you don’t have relationships–you just don’t get access to the same career or learning opportunities,” Wilkin told From Day One. “I was a gay kid in a really small town, and that’s a really tough place to be. How could I find people who were like me that I could aspire to be like?”

Ten Thousand Coffees–or 10KC for short–a networking tech company that Wilkin co-founded and now leads as CEO, is how he hopes to rectify the connection deficit. It’s one that millions of workers experience, especially in the era of remote and hybrid work. Wilkin remembers how it felt to be isolated, imagining a career but with no way to get there. “It’s like sitting on an island all by yourself,” he said.

Networks of close relationships grow careers, engage employees, boost morale, and keep workforces intact. According to a 2023 survey by Gallup, employees who have a mentor are 58% more likely to feel that their employer offers equal opportunities for advancement. Forty-eight percent of those who have sponsors feel the same way.

Yet for Wilkin, it’s not good enough to leave such relationships up to chance, so he’s giving it a shot with a fast-rising technology: machine learning. His solution is 10KC, which adapts the tech that powers online dating matches to identify meaningful workplace connections, combined with a learning platform to make the most of those connections. The mixture produces connectivity at scale. The platform connects workers based on 50 factors, including skills, career path, location, time zone, interest areas, and affinity networks, then brings them together for productive conversation.

The results are impressive. “We’ve decreased employee churn by 25% to 35% among our platform users, and we’re looking at tens of thousands of data points,” he said. Plus, 10KC has been able to increase participation in employee resource groups (ERGs) by two to three times. “A lot of HR and talent leaders think about mentoring and networking in its traditional formats–one-directional relationships where a mentor guides a mentee–but the new world of artificial intelligence and machine learning allows HR leaders to think about mentoring and networking in much more dynamic, personalized ways.”

Ultimately, Wilkin’s ticket out of his hometown of Lively, Ontario, was a full ride to the University of Waterloo. That marked a change in his life, not only because it was an exceptional education, but because it came with mentors and role models. “Those were the most game-changing people in my life because they helped me figure out what skills I needed to learn, what kind of programs I should study to get involved, and how to job-search.”

No single relationship gave Wilkin his footing, but it was the sum of his mentors that made the difference. “There’s no such thing as a single mentor,” Wilkins said. “It’s much more dynamic than that.” It takes mentors, sponsors, peer-to-peer relationships, and reverse mentors, where a more junior employee supports one of their seniors, to create a network that propels a career.

Preventing Those Missed Connections

Though Wilkin had to wait around for serendipity to bring in mentors, he saw a better way: Don’t leave it up to chance. Expecting workers to network on their own creates too many missed connections. With planning, companies can create proximity in distributed workforces.

This can be especially important following a merger or acquisition in which two discrete organizations must come together to form something greater than the sum of its parts. And for leaders who travel, a smart network match can help them make the most of site visits.

 “The next time you travel, schedule a time to get to know your teams and have career conversations, rather than hoping that you bump into your colleagues in the elevator,” Wilkin said. “Find reverse mentoring opportunities so you can pick up new skills while on the road. Promote your practice area or simply learn who’s sitting in your company.”

The Network Opportunity Gap

There’s a distinct difference between the well-connected employee, who knows a lot of people by name (and maybe some office gossip), and the engaged employee, asserted Emily Dickens, head of government affairs for the Society of Human Resource Management (SHRM) in a 2022 interview with Gallup. “She’s happy, and she knows who to talk to in order to get things done,” Dickens said. “To really thrive and have a life well-lived, you have to have a work experience that is personal. You need to create relationships that outlast your time with the company. Unfortunately, this can be difficult for many professionals.”

Traditional networking programs fail too many people. There’s a gender gap when it comes to mentorship and sponsorship. McKinsey and LeanIn.org’s 2023 Women in the Workplace report found that women are less likely than men to be “in the know,” and be able to access both mentorship and sponsorship opportunities at their company. Women are less likely than men to feel included in important company networks, according to SHRM’s Dickens.

Another opportunity gap is based on seniority. Though internal mobility rates are up since 2021, according to LinkedIn, advancement opportunities are not evenly distributed. Workers at the manager and director levels are more than twice as likely as individual contributors to make a move within the company. Consider also that workers at the highest echelons are less likely to be female, less likely to be people of color, and less likely to be disabled.

Taking the initiative in networking isn’t well-received in every workplace, said Wilkin. Skipping a level can get you in trouble, or at least earn you some suspicious looks. Asking around about other people’s jobs while seeking out sponsorship and mentorship can look like you’re trying to circumvent authority, leave your team, or conduct some (light) espionage. “If you’re a sales manager and you go above your boss to talk to somebody inside the company, you might get your wrist slapped,” he said. “There’s a lot of bias and barriers to networking inside of a company.”

Yet companies that are too hung up on the norms of the hierarchy may be passing up major engagement and retention opportunities. Employees who have access to mentors and sponsors are twice as likely to be engaged than those who don’t, per a 2023 survey by Gallup. And according to LinkedIn, employees who make an internal move are 64% more likely than their non-moving peers to stay with their employer for at least three years. 

Beyond Mere Connection: Learning Skills and Collaborating

Lately, Wilkin has been particularly interested in turning networking into learning communities. What if you could form a network of people learning skills independently, then bring them together for application and collaboration?

“To reinforce a learning program, you might just think of pairing an intern to a senior leader to close that loop, but a more strategic talent and HR leader is looking at how they drive transformation through networking experiences,” he said. When a company can create a web of new managers or a web of workers adopting new AI applications, that new knowledge can be reinforced in a dozen new ways.

 “A network of relationships is where the majority of learning, talent, retention, career growth, inclusion all happen, but that has to be deliberate,” Wilkin said. “Using networks to help organizations become more innovative, retain their best colleagues, and be more efficient–it’s the next frontier of learning and development.”

Editor’s note: From Day One thanks our partner, Ten Thousand Coffees, for sponsoring this story.

Emily McCrary-Ruiz-Esparza is a freelance journalist and From Day One contributing editor who writes about work, the job market, and women’s experiences in the workplace. Her work has appeared in the Economist, the BBC, The Washington Post, Quartz, Fast Company, and Digiday’s Worklife.

(Featured photo by PeopleImages/iStock by Getty Images)